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Wanderlust Bilbao from Chell Parkins on Vimeo.
I did two informal performances during my 2 week residency. One was in AZALA at the end of my first week and was attended by only a few. I barely had ideas for what I would do at this point. The second presentation was at ZAWP after my second week. Taylor composed 6 pieces of music for six different sections, all inspired by the feeling I was experiencing through the trip. He Skyped in to watch and discuss, but the music was prerecorded. Following are my notes from the day before I performed. Javi Maestre came and interviewed me right before the show.
Section 1: Ghosts. This one reminds me of ghosts. I keep thinking about how this area must be full of them. I also thought a bit about spirits while I was in AZALA. The wooden shudders in the cabin would slam against the walls while the wind was howling. I am projecting straight forward videos in the factory and outside of a factory for this section. I am wearing a white piece of lingerie and holding a flashlight that allows the Kinect to capture my body but also for me to be seen through the screen. It looks pretty cool. My image is ghostly.
Section 2: My Heart. This section is sharp and jagged and goes with the projection of the fog and mud. The sharpness comes from the feeling I had when the mud was freezing my toes that morning and the ground was still frozen. I am playing with Delicode and Isadora together here and the explode effect. It looks like static, like the image is continually breaking apart in thousands of bits and coming together. I plan on talking in this section about my arythmia, about how my heart often skips a beat and it fells like a little lightning bolt and shatters my world for a brief moment. I am not sure if you remember that I visited the hospital a few weeks ago because of this. It was pretty intense. I am also thinking a bit about love these days as I am lonely and have been in a pretty complicated and bizarre relationship. In the very beginning, I plan on talking about how I have the heart of a 20 year old, since it’s so thin and small. While I talk about it, an image of me running forward in my red dress through the fog is projected on my live body chest.
Section 3: Extreme Embodied Experiences. This is where I am reminded of the kid on the train when I was 21 and traveling alone through Europe. He said women collect memories of food from foreign places while they travel and men collect memories of foreign sexcapades. This also reminds me of my own need to be physical (running and dancing) and how I feel so depressed when I am not feeling completely in my body. I am climbing a little scaffolding thing that lives in the theatre space while projecting the video of me climbing that weird electric tower thing. I was climbing and dancing on that thing for like 10 or 20 minutes before I read the sign that said high voltage, do not climb. I am projecting my image into the video again here. Probably using the gloom effect.
Section 4: Fear. This section is spoken and slow. The video of me on the roof is projected. I am all in white and walk back and forth in front of the projection so that you can see my filmed body projected on my live body. I am telling a personal story here about a time when I was vulnerable, violated, and terrified. It has been a bit of a challenge to work on, but very cathartic. It also is something I have been thinking about lately, perhaps because being isolated here reminds me of the cabin in the woods this painful memory took place. I talk about being terrified of the dark my whole life and then running away from someone in the blackness of night.
Section 5: Feet. This one is dedicated to the pain I feel in my feet. Seriously, between the ice earth in the mountains to the dirty concrete my feet are torn to shreds. I’ll play with Delicode again here.
Section 6: Companion or Traveling Alone. This section is slow and fluid and goes with the projection in the field. The movement is influenced by the feeling I had looking at the sky and breathing the fresh air for the first time. Dreamlike. There are several projections inside projections of me. I am using the Kinect and it is capturing me but also the captured projection of me. Playing with the gloom effect. I may speak about my experience of traveling alone. How I have always travelled alone. I love to travel alone, but there is something lonely about it, too. On a side note, I was thinking about ghosts tonight. How I keep seeing my image in the window from the projections and getting spooked.
So, I think all of the AZALA stuff will be in front of the screen and all of the ZAWP will be behind it. I am borrowing a second kinect and will try to upload all of those programs into my computer.
Today is Friday and I am trying to sort through my thoughts, reflect. This experience has been amazing and non stop. I have enjoyed traveling and dancing more than any other time in my life. I think it’s because I am dancing everywhere. My own dance, improvisation but I have something to take with me, photos and videos, for some permanence and proof. I am constantly nervous about how it is going to be successful, but I imagine it has already been a really great success. I will be happiest, of course, if I can perform tomorrow night something that is interesting for Manu. I really like him (the director of the space) and hope to gain his respect and admiration. It is the same with Idoia and Ixiar, who will come from AZALA.
I am less of a writer, and more of a doer, and so I should go.
Section 1: Ghosts. This one reminds me of ghosts. I keep thinking about how this area must be full of them. I also thought a bit about spirits while I was in AZALA. The wooden shudders in the cabin would slam against the walls while the wind was howling. I am projecting straight forward videos in the factory and outside of a factory for this section. I am wearing a white piece of lingerie and holding a flashlight that allows the Kinect to capture my body but also for me to be seen through the screen. It looks pretty cool. My image is ghostly.
Section 2: My Heart. This section is sharp and jagged and goes with the projection of the fog and mud. The sharpness comes from the feeling I had when the mud was freezing my toes that morning and the ground was still frozen. I am playing with Delicode and Isadora together here and the explode effect. It looks like static, like the image is continually breaking apart in thousands of bits and coming together. I plan on talking in this section about my arythmia, about how my heart often skips a beat and it fells like a little lightning bolt and shatters my world for a brief moment. I am not sure if you remember that I visited the hospital a few weeks ago because of this. It was pretty intense. I am also thinking a bit about love these days as I am lonely and have been in a pretty complicated and bizarre relationship. In the very beginning, I plan on talking about how I have the heart of a 20 year old, since it’s so thin and small. While I talk about it, an image of me running forward in my red dress through the fog is projected on my live body chest.
Section 3: Extreme Embodied Experiences. This is where I am reminded of the kid on the train when I was 21 and traveling alone through Europe. He said women collect memories of food from foreign places while they travel and men collect memories of foreign sexcapades. This also reminds me of my own need to be physical (running and dancing) and how I feel so depressed when I am not feeling completely in my body. I am climbing a little scaffolding thing that lives in the theatre space while projecting the video of me climbing that weird electric tower thing. I was climbing and dancing on that thing for like 10 or 20 minutes before I read the sign that said high voltage, do not climb. I am projecting my image into the video again here. Probably using the gloom effect.
Section 4: Fear. This section is spoken and slow. The video of me on the roof is projected. I am all in white and walk back and forth in front of the projection so that you can see my filmed body projected on my live body. I am telling a personal story here about a time when I was vulnerable, violated, and terrified. It has been a bit of a challenge to work on, but very cathartic. It also is something I have been thinking about lately, perhaps because being isolated here reminds me of the cabin in the woods this painful memory took place. I talk about being terrified of the dark my whole life and then running away from someone in the blackness of night.
Section 5: Feet. This one is dedicated to the pain I feel in my feet. Seriously, between the ice earth in the mountains to the dirty concrete my feet are torn to shreds. I’ll play with Delicode again here.
Section 6: Companion or Traveling Alone. This section is slow and fluid and goes with the projection in the field. The movement is influenced by the feeling I had looking at the sky and breathing the fresh air for the first time. Dreamlike. There are several projections inside projections of me. I am using the Kinect and it is capturing me but also the captured projection of me. Playing with the gloom effect. I may speak about my experience of traveling alone. How I have always travelled alone. I love to travel alone, but there is something lonely about it, too. On a side note, I was thinking about ghosts tonight. How I keep seeing my image in the window from the projections and getting spooked.
So, I think all of the AZALA stuff will be in front of the screen and all of the ZAWP will be behind it. I am borrowing a second kinect and will try to upload all of those programs into my computer.
Today is Friday and I am trying to sort through my thoughts, reflect. This experience has been amazing and non stop. I have enjoyed traveling and dancing more than any other time in my life. I think it’s because I am dancing everywhere. My own dance, improvisation but I have something to take with me, photos and videos, for some permanence and proof. I am constantly nervous about how it is going to be successful, but I imagine it has already been a really great success. I will be happiest, of course, if I can perform tomorrow night something that is interesting for Manu. I really like him (the director of the space) and hope to gain his respect and admiration. It is the same with Idoia and Ixiar, who will come from AZALA.
I am less of a writer, and more of a doer, and so I should go.